Saturday, April 3, 2010

For All the Other Introverts


Caring For Your Introvert.

“With their endless appetite for talk and attention, extroverts also dominate social life, so they tend to set expectations. In our extrovertist society, being outgoing is considered normal and therefore desirable, a mark of happiness, confidence, leadership. Extroverts are seen as bighearted, vibrant, warm, empathic. “People person” is a compliment. Introverts are described with words like “guarded,” “loner,” “reserved,” “taciturn,” “self-contained,” “private”—narrow, ungenerous words, words that suggest emotional parsimony and smallness of personality. Female introverts, I suspect, must suffer especially. In certain circles, particularly in the Midwest, a man can still sometimes get away with being what they used to call a strong and silent type; introverted women, lacking that alternative, are even more likely than men to be perceived as timid, withdrawn, haughty.”
-Jonathan Rauch

via Constant Siege

I originally posted this purely on the back of the quote selected on the Constant Siege. Only after posting did I get around to reading the entire Caring For Your Introvert article, and I'm so glad I did. It is such an insightful piece and sums me up unbelievably accurately, I only wish I had read this a few years ago. I'll leave you with a favourite quote:
"Are introverts arrogant? Hardly. I suppose this common misconception has to do with our being more intelligent, more reflective, more independent, more level-headed, more refined, and more sensitive than extroverts."
Self serving? Yes. Accurate? Hell yes.


FayB said...

I am not sure if I am introvert or extrovert female, I talk as much as I listen, and I prefer to spend my social life with a few people that I feel close to, but always end up with many friends. On vacation I tend to spend time doing things with others rather than reading a book or going to museum.
I don't talk about what's really important to me unless I feel close to someone, I think I am pretty well reserved but when a couple of sparkling red hit me then I was like a different person?.. In my opinion its hard to describe how extrovert or introvert you are.
and as time goes by, life itself actually can changes your personality? does this make sense?

Dan said...

Makes perfect sense Fay, and I agree, especially with your last point.
[btw you're safe with your email concerns]

Ouistiti said...

Oooh, oooh, I want to be an introvert, they sound fabulous. Hey, wait a minute...I AM one [well, half one anyway]
That's an excellent article, and even though it's old, it hasn't dated. Loved it.

FayB said...

Hi Daniel,
Yeah, I think you can tell that I am totally different person from Fay five years ago. Life has changed me to be the person I am today. Extrovert, introvert..oh how confusing. But, in dating department I kind of little bit of both :). Thank you for the reassurance (the email thing).